How are we meant to guide our grown children? Is it in the same way as we would guide them when they were younger?

One of the most famous episodes of the Parsha is when Moshe was commanded to provide water for the Jewish people by bringing it out from a rock.

G-d told him to “speak to the rock,” and then the water would come flowing out.

But this wasn’t the first time Moshe was asked to do such a task.

Forty years earlier at the very beginning of the Jewish journey in desert Moshe was commanded to “hit the rock,” instead of speaking to it.

What may have been appropriate at the beginning of the journey, can no longer be the right method years later.

When children are young they need us to really teach them right from wrong. They need the basics, what is safe and what is not. At times we need to just tell them the way it is without necessarily needing to explain it and discuss it.

Young children are looking for that guidance. It gives them the tools they need to grow into a “mensch.”

As the years go on and they grow older, they are no longer at the beginning of their childhood journey. This is when a different approach is needed.

Older children can’t just be told, they need to be heard. They need to understand and relate to our guidance. This is the method of “speak to the rock.”

Conversations and quality time can go a long way to keep them engaged and close.

At this point it is the relationship and connection that we have, which really matters.